Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
