I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
