i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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