I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
