I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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