no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
