i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
