They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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