Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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