Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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