Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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