so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
