dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's the barista slut.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
