you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
