Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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