Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
