Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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