The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Acid is not a monday night drug
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize