On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
