More tranny stories later!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize