sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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