i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
