Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it because I queefed?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
