i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
