In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
