Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
