fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
