wat bout pragnant strippers??
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
