What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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