there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
