your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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