Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
