where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I need to calm my uterus...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
