sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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