And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
