he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize