You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
