i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
