High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
