so explain again why im purple
no
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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