Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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