My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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