god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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