We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
