Non-Jews are for practice
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Small penises have feelings too.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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