You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
