you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
