I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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