She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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