If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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