TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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