Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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