its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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