My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
