I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
