No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish you could order shots online.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
