Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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